Neurodivergence looks and feels different for everyone:
Autism - ADHD - Dyspraxia Dyslexia - Dyscalculia
Assessments for Autism and ADHD
Myszka is registered with the British Psychological Society as a Registered Qualified Test User, and is permitted to assess using the recognised Autism assessment tools. She follows NICE guidelines in working with clients, and will signpost and refer on to other services if it is felt they would be beneficial.
Please enquire about the wrap around service available at Foxes’ Retreat, if you are seeking a private assessment to help you deepen your understanding of yourself.
The full day to explore the autism assessment tools, consider ways forward and the reasonable adjustments that you can ask for, will be £495. A written report will follow, detailing the DSM-V criteria, the NICE guidelines and the recommendations for support. Myszka will note the likelihood of ADHD with the DIVA assessment tool alongside the ADOS autism assessment.
Quiet therapeutic spaces:
The Therapy Suite at Foxes’ Retreat is set in a separate building, for complete privacy.
There is parking just outside the door, with both a kitchen and a bathroom adjoining for clients to use.
If you arrive a little early for your appointment, please help yourself to tea or coffee whilst you wait. You are welcome to make a drink to bring into your therapy with you too.
Talking therapy spaces:
One with firm armchairs tucked either side of the log fire (below, left)
One with softer armchairs, tucked away in the adjoining room (below, middle)
One with a large table, for creating mindmaps, plans and doodling thoughts as we go (below, right)
Autism and AHHD Assessment Processes
Foxes’ Retreat offers a day long assessment process for adults who feel that they might be neuro-divergent. This allows for breaks, breathing space, time to make notes and time to walk and think around the issues coming up. What many of us experienced with our own diagnosis routes was having a label metaphonically slapped on our foreheads and being sent off to sort it out ourselves. We might have been signposted to a local support group. We might have been given a website to look at.
Many of us believed that all we needed was to "know" that we are neuro-divergent, as we thought that would “give us permission to be ourselves". The reality of the assessment process is very different, and it brings up confusion about who we are, who we think we might be, who we used to be, and how we manage the grief and anger around changes in ourselves without any support from the outside world through our lives. It is a taxing and confusing process to go through alone.
Knowing what I know about my own Autism and ADHD now, would I go through assessment again for myself?
Yes, yes, and yes. Delving the depths of self with this lens has allowed me to process and shift a lot of historic trauma responses and accept others and myself more easily, for the vast majority of the time. An assessment outcome does not take away your lived experiences or your feelings around those experiences. I am still making adjustments for myself. I love the process of learning of my own changing needs.
As human beings, we do not get stuck in one mode just we have an assessment outcome. We take time to accept, to learn new patterns, and to allow different choices. This is why pre- and post-assessment psychotherapy is invaluable. My entire client caseload is of neuro-divergent clients - some have come to me to understand a medical diagnosis, some have come to me with suspicions of neurodivergence in themselves. All of them have engaged in psychotherapy to understand themselves, to accept themselves and to work towards reducing the depressive episodes and anxieties that have peppered their lives. Some clients arrive because they simply cannot keep going - autistic burnout is a harsh place to land, but it is possible to move past it, and to build a sustainable way of living. The therapeutic process embraces progress, not perfection.
Autistic people do not need fixing, quite simply because we are not broken.
As a community, we can support each other by working together to find our way to believing in ourselves and following our hearts.
Using approved assessment tools, and following NICE guidance leads each assessment to a discussion around future accommodations and the often elusive "reasonable adjustments" that we need to be able to live our best lives. I hear so often that someone has a diagnosis and their families and employers ask them what they “need”. The client themselves often doesn’t know. It takes time and exploration to find out. Therapeutic work can support this process of discovery and consideration.
Neurodivergence Assessment days at Foxes’ Retreat are held on Fridays.
Myszka on working with neurodivergent individuals and their families:
I work through lived experience, and an understanding that the presentation of Autistic Spectrum Condition varies from one person to another.
With a focus on your personal experience, together we can explore and support your journey both before and after diagnosis, and the rollercoaster of emotions that can unfurl.
There are a range of strategies for neuro-divergents to work with in a neurotypical world, and finding the ones that suit and sit best with each of my clients is a privilege.
Accepting ourselves is the first step.
The old-fashioned view of autism is so far from true - the deep sensitivities of someone autistic can be found in mirror synasthesia and the “beautiful reality of autism”.
An outside space:
At Foxes’ Retreat, we also have fields to walk in.
Sometimes walking and talking is easier, as eye-contact is not expected.
Sometimes moving is easier than sitting still because we need to stim, or regulate our emotions and thoughts through movement.
Myszka is a Therapeutic Counsellor with a personal diagnosis of autism and of ADHD. She lives with Adam, her husband, who also has a diagnosis of autism.
Lived experience can allow a closer understanding and deeper empathy when working with clients who suspect they have a neurodivergence, or who already have a diagnosis.
She says,
"I encourage each client to work at their own pace, to take control of the work with my support. The desired outcome is for each client to feel that they no longer need to see me regularly because they are thriving with their own rudder to guide them. This can take a few sessions or longer, depending on the individual and the work undertaken."
Myszka is happy to arrange a time to discuss the best approach for you to gain a healthier perspective and inner strength to live your life less stressfully.
Neurodivergence Assessment days at Foxes’ Retreat are held on Fridays.
We are only a phone call or email away.
*Everyone at Foxes’ Retreat welcomes working with individuals of all races and ethnicities, genders and expression of those genders, sexuality and sexual orientations, religions, marital status, or military status. If there is anything I have omitted here, please be assured it is a genuine error, and not a sign of exclusion. Contacting us to mention any omissions in this area will be well received!
Myszka has been registered with the British Psychological Society since 2015, and a member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists since 2019, and follows their Code of Ethics.
What is neurodivergence? Is that the same as ADHD? Autism?
The most important thing, for me, is to say that Neurodivergent people do not need “fixing”, because they are not broken! Neurodivergence is a different way of thinking, and it is not about intelligence.
Difference can be confusing for ourselves, as well as for others. It doesn’t make it wrong.
This term applies to anyone who has a neurological difference - and therefore thinks and experiences the world differently to the majority of people, due to a brain difference. There is a helpful visual representation below which shows the overlaps of different aspects of neurodiversity. This is by Mary Colley, which I found on Aegyo Kawaii’s Neurodiversity Blog.
We neurodivergent folk think differently, creatively, and are part of a large community of human beings who are inventors, artists, writers, computer scientists, doctors, librarians, vets, builders, chefs… the list is endless. We are flexible and creative and often come up with inventive solutions to problems, rather than the tried and tested obvious route.
Why am I only just finding out that I am neurodivergent?
Late diagnosis is common with autism and ADHD in particular, as many of us slipped through the school years with a range of masking strategies. We managed well enough to get by, and that meant that no-one was drawn to see what was going on for us.
It was even thought in the 1980s, 90s and 2000s that only men could have autism! This may seem like a ridiculous concept now, but in those years it was a real barrier. This BBC news article from March 2024, shows how Emily Katy found her diagnosis to be life saving.
What resources might help me to manage?
There is information on this link, from the National Autistic Society , around what we can expect from employers. It also gives food for thought on what might help us in our everyday lives, at home, and when we socialise.
Christine McGuiness’ BBC documentary on unmasking is thought provoking, as well as Chris Packham’s series, Inside Our Autistic Minds. These are both available on BBC iplayer.
Neurowild is a useful resource for those of you who use facebook. Em, who runs the page, is autistic, and has autistic children, as well as being a speech therapist.
Why is it that I used to manage and now I can’t?
Now we know far more, and realise that women with autism and ADHD have more capacity to ‘mask’ and to camouflage themselves to blend in. This is a sophisticated technique which takes a lot of energy and can lead to exhaustion if we do not give ourselves breaks with activities or rest periods that support our ways of being.
Often the difficulties become more apparent as we get older and we run out of capacity to ‘pretend’ to be like others around us - the art of masking keeps us safe in some ways, but exhausts us and can lead to mental health crisis moments when we reach the point of breaking.
Why are there so many people coming out as neurodivergent since the Covid-19 pandemic?
The pandemic gave a lot of us the first real jolt of having someone else control our routines, with different working schedules, exercise schedules etc - and so many of us realised that we simply cannot cope without knowing what is coming up. The pandemic did not give us neurodivergence, it highlighted our difficulties that we had been trying frantically to manage until that point.
Autism
There is no one set version of how autism presents, and male/female presentation can be very different at times.
Common traits do include difficulties making or keeping friends due to social differences, often with bluntness or directness being prevalent.
Sensory differences can mean that we find bright lights or smells difficult to manage - commonly supermarkets are hard work!
Special interests do not have to be maths - we are not all like Rain Man… stereotypes can be unhelpful and full of pressure. We do not have to have or share a ‘superpower’, we can just be ourselves.
This is not an exhaustive list, and The Autistic Woman website has lots of useful information, as well as The National Autistic Society providing detailed information.
ADHD
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and is closely related to, and often overlaps with autism and other presentations.
There are three types of ADHD - Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity and Combined Type.
Impulsiveness in decision making is common in ADHD. We can also often feel overwhelming emotions that are far bigger than other people around us are experiencing, with people wrongly labelling us as being over-dramatic or drama queens!
Decision making and following through on tasks can be challenging with sparkling enthusiasm at new ideas and then not quite managing to get started… or starting and not being able to complete something due to lack of focus, or fear of failure. Perfectionism is prevalent with both autism and ADHD.
Sleep can be difficult, and lack of sufficient rest can lead to physical and mental health issues.
Medication is available for ADHD, but this is not a choice for everyone. It depends on the individual and how they want to work with their own experience.
Dyslexia/Dyscalculia
Often people think that dyslexia and dyscalculia are when we are ‘bad at reading or writing’ or ‘bad at numbers’.
This is not the case - it is often a non-linear way of thinking, and a difficulty with timings, organisation and deadlines,
There are many overlaps with Autism and ADHD too - take a look at the diagram above to see how aspects can be part of different areas of neurodivergence.
Often self-esteem issues at ‘not being good enough’ are very common. Constantly pushing ourselves to ‘do better’ can be exhausting, as we try to ‘fit in’.
Dyspraxia
Dyspraxia mainly is seen in terms of coordination and balance. Poor handwriting or sporting skills can be indicators.
This is not the only way that dyspraxia presents though - it is often seen in planning and organisational difficulties too.
As a child, I was thought of as “clumsy”. These days I accept that I am dyspraxic, and find that balance and coordination can be tricky at times.
Interestingly, riding a horse is intuitive for me, but put me on a bike and it is perilous for everyone concerned! This is a clear example of how differently each version of neurodivergence can present in each of us.
Assessments at Foxes’ Retreat
The very word ‘assessment’ can feel daunting.
At Foxes’ Retreat we aim to make this process more of a discussion and exploration of your strengths and difficulties, without judgement.
We will ask for you to complete forms before your assessment, to give us a start point, and use appropriate psychometric tools to reach a diagnosis ‘with you’, not ‘to you’.
Comments from Foxes’ Retreat therapy clients …
“I feel better, somehow lighter, I think. I haven’t been able to tell anyone else those things before. It feels easier now I have said them. I feel relieved to have said it out loud. Thank you.”
— Therapy Client, August 2023
“The session yesterday put me in a much better place mentally - I hadn't realised I had been holding on to so much stress and worry so being able to air it has left me feeling so much lighter. So I just wanted to express my gratitude! Thank you!
(I got out for a hike today!! My lungs are still a little lousy post-covid but we stomped out 4 miles or so and are very merry for it :D)
Warm regards and see you in a couple weeks!”
— Therapy Client, September 2023
“It’s so good to see you again. I hadn’t realised how helpful it is to be able to talk things through without burdening anyone at home, or worrying them.”
— Therapy Client, May 2023
This scene can evoke different reactions in many of us.
Glorious sunshine, autumn chills, unclear paths ahead… think of neurodivergence like this.
Things look and feel different to each one of us. This is something to celebrate, not to be ashamed of.